The Life of the Party by Fernando Sorrentino




My wife's name is wholesale nhl jerseys Graciela; mine is Arthur. «They're such a charming couple,» our friends are always saying. They're right, we are a bright, young, elegant, Cosmopolitan married couple, good conversationalists and financially secure. As a result, a large part of our life is spent at social gatherings. People vie to invite us, and we must frequently choose between one party and another. The essential feature of our conduct is that we never have to be begged. We hate giving the impression that we're aware of our qualities and, hence, when accepting their invitations, that we are bestowing a great honor upon our hosts. But they do consider it an honor, and this fact also weighs in favor of our reputation as generous, magnanimous people, free of pettiness and Boston Bruins #24 Terry O'reilly 1984 CCM jersey suspiciousness.
I swear we make no effort whatsoever to stand out. Nevertheless - and I'm speaking impartially - Graciela and I are always the best looking, the nicest, and the most intelligent. We are the life of the party. Graciela is surrounded by the gentlemen; I, by the ladies. Naturally, were strangers to jealousy and distrust; we know that no man, except Arthur, is worthy of Graciela; that no woman, except Graciela, is worthy of Arthur.
How many people must doubtlessly envy our social success! And yet, Graciela and I detest social life, we wholesale cheap nfl jerseys abhor gatherings, we hate parties. Moreover, we are actually shy, contemplative individuals given to silence and solitude, to reading and intimate conversation; persons who despise crowds, dances, loud music, frivolity, small talk, and forced smiles. Well then, why the devil are we so urbane? Why can't we turn down even a single invitation to a social gathering?
The truth of the matter is that deep down Graciela and I have no willpower and we don't dare say no. On our way to a party, we're submerged in gloomy thoughts, bitter tribulations, and painful guilt feelings. But once we enter into the noisy whirlwind of the throng, the voices, faces, smiles, and jokes all make us forget the annoyance of Cincinnati Bengals #32 Rudi Johnson jersey being there against our will.
But then, home once again, how it hurts us to consider how fragile our personality is! How painful our feeling of helplessness! How horrible to see ourselves always obliged to be the life of the party!
Burdened by a problem similar to ours, two ordinary people might have fallen into despair. But , far from that, Graciela and I are in the midst of a campaign to avoid further invitations, to cease being the life of the party. We have devised a plan, the purpose of which is to make ourselves unpleasant, obnoxious, abhorrent discount nfl jerseys .